It’s not you, it’s me…... I’m just in a really weird space right now … I need to grow a bit more…. It’s not that you’re too much, you’re just too much for me…..right now…… I envy the person who can make it work with you….
For nearly four years I have worn my hair naturally (no chemical straightening, minimal heat). And, for the most part, doing so has served me well. In fact, the day I cut off my severely damaged relaxed hair was the most beautiful I’d felt in my lifetime. I felt strong and empowered to be completely myself for the first time. My natural hair journey has given me insight on what my hair likes and needs to stay healthy. Things with my hair progressed well until I experienced heat damage my second time using a flat-iron on my natural hair.
I thought shedding my heat-damaged ends would allow me to start fresh with my hair, and in a way it has. Having to cut 2 ½- 3 inches(curled) off of my hair has allowed me to have a new perspective. If having natural hair freed me from the confines of the societal belief that relaxed /straight hair was “better”, why did I have a near melt-down when I had to cut my hair? When you look at most natural hair sites, books, Pinterest feeds etc.; you’ll notice a section dedicated to retaining length. Women with longer natural hair are viewed as goddesses of the movement, but why? Is it because having longer hair is connected with femininity? Would that be considered a Eurocentric perspective of beauty?
If so, why bother with going against the grain to only end up in the same direction as everyone else?
For that reason, I am breaking up with my Natural Hair. Does that mean I am running out to get a relaxer? Not necessarily. However, I am breaking up with the notion that how I wear my hair holds that much importance. I am allowing myself to explore and be open to a variety of styling options whether it’s natural, relaxed, weaved, long, short or dyed. As long as my hair is healthy, I’m happy.
So, I guess what I’m trying to say is…I’m keeping my options open.